Your fantasy draft - and you've got pick #4

No mincing words here - the 2008 MVP is up for picking. Kobe Bean Bryant. Now you have to be prepared once you pick him. Sure, get ready for pick #17. But more importantly, you have to be ready for the stream of jokes, live or online, with some form of "Tell me how my ass tastes" involved. It very well could be the most popular permutated team name once it gets around nba.com and Yahoo censors. I say you've gotta go pre-emptive and shave Gary on your head. "My pick, and it tastes like victory, is Kobe Bryant." "I don't know about Shaq's ass, but y'all can kiss mine after I win this year, I'm picking Kobe." You've got a few months, think of something. Anyway, corresponding Brady Bunch episode - Peter gets the part of Benedict Arnold in the school play. What the hell was up with this junior high? It was a part in the play - Peter was not actually a traitor, give the voice-cracking f*cker a break. It's like hating Matt Damon as a person and in future roles because he tried to screw over Brendan Fraser in "School Ties". And did this part seem overly large? I know BA played a part in the Revoluitonary War, but hello? General Washington. Continental Congress. Ben Franklin. Thomas Jefferson. These are your money players. Did we really need Benedict's death scene? C'mon, get realz.

Kobe stats

PPG - 28.3
3PG - 1.8
RPG - 6.3
APG - 5.4
SPG - 1.8
BPG - 0.5
TOPG - 3.1
FGAPG - 20.6
FG% - 45.9%
FTAPG - 9.0
FT% - 83.9%

Now if you're in a non-TO league, you have to give consideration to Kobe as a #1 or #2 overall pick. But that 3.1 in a TO league is a serious number. With the ball in his hands so much, he's going to hand it over a pantload. Same deal with LeBron (we'll get to him soon enough). You could go the strategy of picking the high TO guys, but ones that can pump you up in other categories, e.g., Steve Nash, Josh Smith, Allen Iverson, then further down to Hedo Turkoglu, Gerald Wallace, Dwight Howard, and if your draft has 23 rounds, Eddy Curry.

Get your red flags out - he's going to be spent after a long playoffs, surgery, Olympic ball. All, true, so you'll have to keep an eye on him post-Olympics. Anything wrong, and you'll have to bump him up. But let's assume Kobe is Kobe. Who do you get at #17 to work with him? I think the key for Kobe is that he gets to the line a lot and makes a great amount of them. Kobe's 84% is much more valuable than Nash's 91%. I like a guy, preferrably a big, who can enhance the FT's, because this will help in points and FT%, a couple of great cats to lock up. The boldest strategy is to go with someone who is a good bet to play half the year, Yao Ming. You have to do some serious homework on him to see if he is ready come November. If you nab him at 17, I think you have to go with someone Center-eligible at 24. Now you're talking about not getting a guard until pick 37. Or go guard at 24, then center eligible at 37. Someone will take Yao in the early rounds; either you are a Yao guy or not. Personally, I'm not, but what are you going to do? With the potential breakdown factor of Kobe and Yao, be prepared to be a waiver wire wizard this year. And get ready to pick up whatever Timberwolf forward not named Jefferson starts getting major burn.

At #17, I'm looking at a second scoring threat to go with Kobe. You'll need someone who can score on those weeks LAL has 2 games. Iverson tickles my fancy; say goodbye to turnovers, but you could be watching ESPN's Friday night West Coast game and have them both go for 40 - now wouldn't that be freakin' sweet, Mr. Griffin? Baron Davis would be a nifty little Staples Center duo, n'est pas? And if any of the scoring bigs happen to fall, like Bosh, Boozer, or Duncan (notice Pau Gasol is not on this list), you'd have to go for one of those. And is this the spot where Nash should land? As good a spot as any. I'm thinking that he's a guy that doesn't give you the full 82 games, but the West is so tight, he'll have to but his back out there every night.

So here's my list of options to go in the 2nd round if you picked Kobe:
1a) Chris Bosh
1b) Tim Duncan
1c) Carlos Boozer
1d) Yao Ming
2) Allen Iverson
3) Baron Davis
4) Paul Pierce (well aren't you just too cute)

For round 3, I'm going with another scorer. If someone's left in the above list, nail it, but add to your list Kevin Martin and Vince Carter. I'd throw Jason Richardson in there, but that drunken mess of a Bobcat roster has me freaked out seven ways to Sunday. Round 4, I want another scorer; I'd say Melo, but he won't last to #37 as he is going to be overvalued by somebody. Target Iguodala and Joe Johnson. You already have a high turnover team, might as well bring them all on. And Dwight Howard would be nice here. In this spot. Not earlier. And if you have with Kobe another high volume/high percentage FT guy like Kevin Martin or Allen Iverson.

With Kobe on your roster, I say make him the foundation for a scoring juggernaut, at least with the top four or five on your roster. That means goodbye TO's and blocks. Also, it means none of these guys as high picks - Camby, Kirilenko, Kidd, Odom, Rasheed (but you could do Duncan or Yao). You'll need a PG, so I'm looking at Mo Williams somewhere around round 5 or 6. Your 5, 6, and 7 picks are where you're going to flesh things out on the roster. Put these guys with your scorers and you might have something: Rondo, Bogut, Chandler, Gooden. And if you really like the points, take Kevin Durant in round 6 - not half bad in the 2nd half of 08.

Anyway, picking Kobe means you have to seriously counteract a deficiency in one of your top players - turnovers. In your non-TO leagues, that's out the window; I might move him up to #2. I say with Kobe, load up on scorers, get ready to trade in December to round out the roster, and stay hot on the free agent market for rebounds and blocks guys. Now go have some Nutella. Now, if you have pick #5, you may want to employ this same strategy, say if you picked ...